I always find it incredibly shocking how quickly I can go from feeling confident I have it all together, only to completely and dramatically fall apart a few minutes later. This crashing and burning can stem from anywhere. Sometimes it seems like the slightest shift in the breeze can set off this crushing feeling of inadequacy. But that also has to do with simply being me and having way too many emotions all the time.
Often, this feeling comes from my running. I’ll have the greatest run and feel like literally the greatest person ever. Then I’ll have a crappy run and I’ll start re-evaluating every aspect of my life. It’s not unusual for these two extremes to happen in the same run.
Why is It never enough to just be a runner? I have to be the fastest and strongest I can be. I have to work harder than anyone else around me. I have to go farther, be tougher, show more dedication. Because if I don’t… If I don’t…
I’m not sure what will happen if I don’t. The world won’t fall to pieces, but I am often fooled into thinking I might. The world yells at you to make the most of every opportunity. Work hard, be your best, and success will follow! Look, here are thousands of successful people, if you work hard, you can, you must be just like them! Don’t falter, don’t slow down, don’t give up. Because then you’ll fall behind and never be anything.
But we are something. We are runners. And that is far from insignificant. Since we constantly surround ourselves with like-minded people, we forget that there is a whole population out there that has never stumbled through an excruciating 6-mile run or powered through that last mile of a long run. There are people who have never debated over what pair of running shoes to buy, people who see a bad weather day as just a day with bad driving conditions.
We have to remind ourselves the effort it takes to be a runner is often heroic. Our running makes us passionate, makes us strong and humble and brave. No matter the distance, no matter the speed. Our running inspires and encourages and forms bonds not easily broken. And all that is more powerful than any time stamped on your watch, any crappy run, any mile where you just don’t feel like you are good enough.
You are good enough. You are good enough to be a part of the select few. The few who tapped into that scary, raw, real part of themselves and embraced the run. You get out the door and push your body and find others through the effort. You dedicate your time, your energy, your sanity to the roads. You do it because you are a runner, and you are enough.
